HEARTS OF FIRE

Onto our second selection from the box of crap VHS titles I found on the street, Bob Dylan, Rupert Everett and Fiona in "Hearts Of Fire"! Bob is a faded bob like rock star named Billy Parker now napping shirtless on his chicken farm, Rupert Everett is a millionaire british new romantic pop moppet superstar ponce, and 'Fiona' is an ambitious and naive young bar band singing 80's spunk. Eventually they become embroiled in a heated love double helix cube, people shag, somebody punches somebody else, a fan shoots their face off, snooze. yes. You keep hoping it's gonna get camp enough for some kitsch value but it's just all round dull. I guess Bob was lost enough in the 80's to decide this was a good idea. All the same, the few sparks of enjoyment come from his general Bobness.

You can watch the whole thing in parts on youtube if you really want, but as Chrisdrumz says in the comments section:

"Wow,this really DOES suck"

And if we have any real tragics out there, you can bid on the auction for the jacket bob wears in this turbolame movie. Bid to the heavens!